Saturday, July 25, 2009

Motherzillas, Bridezillas, and the Best Wedding Video

Unless you live under a rock you have seen this video in the last day or so.


I confess I have watched it several times and every time it makes me smile and cry and just pretty much makes me happy.

This is pretty much how a wedding should go - happiness, celebration and pure unbridled joy.

I kind of have unique perspective, having officiated at a few in a past life. While the ones I participated in never really reached epic Bridezilla levels (btw, who are these people and what makes them think that because it is 'their day' the world needs to revolve around them and they can be rude and abusive to everyone - and why don't the grooms have sense enough to run screaming from these crazy women? And more importantly, how long do you think these marriages actually last?), especially the rehearsals were fraught with tension, tears, and this whacked out sense that everything had to be absolutely perfect..and the world as we know it would end if the bridesmaids spacing as they walked down the aisle was not perfect.

Often the culprit was not the bride herself but the bride's mother. After my first rehearsal when a tiny flowergirl and ringbearer who couldn't have been more than three years old were reduced to tears because they couldn't understand the concept that the flowergirl was not to begin walking until the ringbearer had passed six pews in the church and they wanted to walk together (and I'm not sure they could even count to six) that I instituted a few rules, I probably said them a bit nicer but the general jist was this:

1. I was in charge of the rehearsal. I had met previously with the bride and groom and had a good sense of what they wanted and they knew going in that this was a rule. Suggestions for changes during the rehearsal had to come through the bride and groom. All my brides mentioned afterwards that they appreciated this so much because their mothers had been driving them crazy.

2. Since it was obvious in some cases that the party had started long before the rehearsal and there wasn't a chance in hell that anyone would remember where to stand when the time came, I used the old theater trick of masking tape on the floor to indicate their marks. Simple: find the X with your name on it and stand there.

3. The third rule was the most important. Relax - remember why you are here and this is just 30 minutes of the rest of your life and stuff may go wrong. The groomsman may wake up with an ear infection causing such vertigo that he spends the wedding time in the ER instead of the church. The videographer's equipment may fall with such an impressive crash it sounded like a bomb. A passing thunderstorm my make you have to scream your vows so folks can hear them. There is a lot you can't control in this 30 minutes as well as in life. What better time to have things go to hell when you have your family and friends around supporting you.

All that said, I would have loved to work with the couple in the video. They truly seemed to understand that the day was about joy and happiness and dancing and not whether the flowers were a shade off, or the fake eyelashes were falling off, or the flowergirl could not count to six.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

19 Days to Japan

In honor of upcoming Japan trip Demetria sent me this link to crazy Japanese commercials. Enjoy

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Racial Profiling - Harvard Style

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/20/henry-louis-gates-jr-arre_n_241407.html

There is so much wrong with this incident it's hard to list them all.

I may not know all my neighbors personally but I recognize them and would not call the police if I saw one of them trying to get into their own house.

It is neither unreasonable nor illegal to ask a police officer for his/her name and badge number. Dr. Gates provided his identification. The officer was obligated to provide his information.

It is neither unreasonable nor illegal to become angry when confronted by the police in one's own home for trying to unstick the front door. Especially after a long flight from China. One wonders if the cop has flown anywhere lately - or ever.

We may have an African-American president who happened to have graduated from Harvard Law but we still have a long, long way to go. Harvard does not have a great recent record - a professor questioned for simply walking across Harvard Yard; an African-American woman denied the degree she earned because someone from the old neighborhood showed up on campus dealing drugs and killed someone. I will not argue that was a horrible crime but I can't help but wonder if this young woman had been a rich white legacy student and a friend from her rich white neighborhood showed up and killed someone in a drug deal gone wrong the outcome would have been different. I'm guessing the legacy would have gotten his/her degree and there would have been some kind of cover-up.

Dr. Gates deserves an apology from the Cambridge PD. They were way out of line and Dr. Gates' reaction was completely understandable. and anyone who argues that this incident wasn't racially motivated is lying or stupid.


Sunday, July 19, 2009

Sashimi



This is what I am craving at the moment.

I am hesitant to eat much raw fish here in America but in Japan I can't get enough. And here is the kicker. A year or so ago there was an article in Vanity Fair about the fish auction in Tokyo. It seems like all that lovely raw tuna that is so fabulous in Japan but that I have serious doubts about in Connecticut starts it journey at the fish auction in my hometown, Gloucester, Massachusetts. Then it goes to the airport where it is flown to Tokyo and sold to the restaurants. All this travel doesn't seem to affect the freshness and overall deliciousness of the fish.

So that makes me wonder if I should be less concerned here; but then I wonder if what we get here travels back from Japan. That could be too much flying for the fish. And then there is the issue of volume. Not many people around here will eat raw fish so it is likely to sit around longer getting that not-so-fresh fish funk.

At any rate, in about three weeks I will be in Japan and will be able to satisfy my craving. Maybe some of the fish I will be eating when I get there will be on the same flight over.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Can You Spell P-H-O-T-O-S-H-O-P?

Even though this is a horrifically bad picture (I was juggling the grocery scanner and the iPhone), this has got to qualify for one of the worst photoshop jobs EVER!!

Suffice it to say if that body actually belongs to Khloe Kardashian, then I am Twiggy - Twiggy from the 60's Carnaby Street era - not Twiggy from ANTM.

I didn't know there was a Khloe Kardashian bobble-head.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Maddow vs. Buchanan - last night MSNBC

Great exchange last night when Pat Buchanan tried to convince Rachel Maddow that white men 'deserve' preference in American life because 100% white men signed the Declaration of Independence, blah, blah, blah. Rachel is amazing in how she handles his raving lunacy.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Thoughts on 'Retirement"'

Karl turns 62 in October and we have been talking about retirement. I have lots of mixed feelings.

Old people retire. I don't consider us old. But retirement, for all its good points, raises the issue or mortality and I'm not ready for either of us to be mortal just yet.

It would be nice to have entire days and weeks to do whatever we want, on no one's schedule but our own. To go away for a week and only have to consider boarding the dog rather than boarding the dog and what stage my work projects are at and who will see Karl's patients and how many paid time off days we have left and is this a wise use of them because what if we have to use them for sick time.

I have always said I didn't want to end up like my mother. She died at age 75 and was still working full-time. Since she lived alone, the only indication that something had happened was she didn't show up for work. While it was good that her co-workers drove over to check on her and called the police when they found her apartment locked and her car in the driveway, it was bad that she never had a break from work to develop a hobby she could enjoy or travel or just spend a day at the beach with a book.

Then there is the age thing. Karl is eight years older and while that's not really a significant difference it does make the mathematics of retirement a bit trickier. We both would like to be able to have time together, to enjoy ourselves, and to do things, travel especially, while we are still healthy and active. But if I retire at 62, I get significantly less Social Security than if I work until 67. But when I am 62, Karl is already 70 and when I am 67, he's 75. Clearly there are no guarantees but things seem more tenuous when your age has a 7 as the first number - and yes, I know, people are healthy and active well into their 70's and 80's and I have no reason to believe that will not be the case with us since we are both in good health and take care of ourselves. It just seems somewhat risky to wait and not carpe diem for the sake of a few thousand dollars a month.

This whole line of thinking is weird and depressing. I feel like even thinking about this is killing us off before our time. But on the other hand the idea of freedom for the daily 9-5 work routine makes me happy.

I confess I got kind of excited the other day when he said he thought he would retire at the traditional 65 and maybe I should just retire at the same time. That's only three years away!!!


Friday, July 10, 2009

RE: But Is It Art?



Lorimarsha has an interesting post on her blog (link on the bloglist to the left) from Denis Dutton's book The Art Instinct listing some criteria for determining what is art. Even though I ask that question myself at times I have a visceral negative reaction to those people who look at a piece of art in a gallery or museum and say 'my kid could do that.' If you don't care for the piece or if it doesn't speak to you that's one thing. But the 'my kid could do that' attitude is insulting and dismissive to the artist.

I saw DuChamp's Fountain in the Dada Exhibit both at MOMA and the National Gallery (I thought the National Gallery did a much better job with the exhibit). I agree with Dutton that as as a Dadaist gesture, it is brilliant.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Infectoid




So last week I had a bit of oral surgery and I have felt kind of under the weather since. Not really sick or feverish or anything - no pig flu - just out of sorts with a side helping of more pain than I would have expected. Today I had my stitches removed and lo and behold, I have a bit of infection (despite 5 days of antibiotics). So more antibiotics for another 5 days and hopefully that will get rid of it.

Random thoughts:

Sarah Palin: 'I'm not a quitter. I'm proving that by quitting."

Joe Biden: Biden speaks, Obama walks back what Biden says. Getting to be a pattern.

Jodi Rell (governor of CT): I thought she was kind of harmless when she took over after Rowland went to jail. Not so much, her policies are terrible.

Example of weird English on a t-shirt from Japan. It says 'Precious', 'Unbreakable', 'Realize'. The circle says 'There is no precious time like the present'. I have no comment. I think the shirt says it all. BTW, Char is the model.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Just Plain Dumb


This guy is definitely in the running for the Darwin Award:
NORTH HAVEN — A man who allegedly used a shotgun to try to get rid of a tree limb in his backyard has been arrested.Antonio Chiaia, 74, of 9 Cricket Court, was arrested at his home Saturday morning after a neighbor reported he was discharging a shotgun in his yard, Capt. James Merrithew said.Chiaia told police he could not reach the tree limb with a saw, so he was trying to remove it by shooting at it. The branch is still there, Merrithew said.The gun, a double-barrel 12-gauge, was seized, and Chiaia was charged with unlawful discharge of a firearm and second-degree reckless endangerment. He is scheduled to appear July 16 in Superior Court in Meriden.

I'm Still Dressing Like It Is Winter



This is my Wardrobe_Remix photo for today - July 7 - in the Northern Hemisphere - where it is supposed to be summer. I am so jealous of other people's summery outfits. I think Mother Nature has abandoned us to her Evil Twin. I can count the nice weather days on the fingers on one hand. Save us from this madness!!!