Thoughts on 'Retirement"'

Karl turns 62 in October and we have been talking about retirement. I have lots of mixed feelings.

Old people retire. I don't consider us old. But retirement, for all its good points, raises the issue or mortality and I'm not ready for either of us to be mortal just yet.

It would be nice to have entire days and weeks to do whatever we want, on no one's schedule but our own. To go away for a week and only have to consider boarding the dog rather than boarding the dog and what stage my work projects are at and who will see Karl's patients and how many paid time off days we have left and is this a wise use of them because what if we have to use them for sick time.

I have always said I didn't want to end up like my mother. She died at age 75 and was still working full-time. Since she lived alone, the only indication that something had happened was she didn't show up for work. While it was good that her co-workers drove over to check on her and called the police when they found her apartment locked and her car in the driveway, it was bad that she never had a break from work to develop a hobby she could enjoy or travel or just spend a day at the beach with a book.

Then there is the age thing. Karl is eight years older and while that's not really a significant difference it does make the mathematics of retirement a bit trickier. We both would like to be able to have time together, to enjoy ourselves, and to do things, travel especially, while we are still healthy and active. But if I retire at 62, I get significantly less Social Security than if I work until 67. But when I am 62, Karl is already 70 and when I am 67, he's 75. Clearly there are no guarantees but things seem more tenuous when your age has a 7 as the first number - and yes, I know, people are healthy and active well into their 70's and 80's and I have no reason to believe that will not be the case with us since we are both in good health and take care of ourselves. It just seems somewhat risky to wait and not carpe diem for the sake of a few thousand dollars a month.

This whole line of thinking is weird and depressing. I feel like even thinking about this is killing us off before our time. But on the other hand the idea of freedom for the daily 9-5 work routine makes me happy.

I confess I got kind of excited the other day when he said he thought he would retire at the traditional 65 and maybe I should just retire at the same time. That's only three years away!!!